So its approximately a year since I went to Zambia and as I reminisce nostalgically, I wonder how much I've changed since then. The question is, 'what did I truly gain from that experience?'. I mean there's no doubt about the experience in itself and the lessons learnt from them but how much have I directly applied that to my life. Has Zambia become just another memory to add to the memoir of my life?
Shamefully I must admit that much of the passion, ethusiam, and visions of change that I came back with has since been left lying dormant or lost due to the worries and routine of everyday life. It makes me wonder if that is what is to become of us young people. Is losing our passions and ideals the only path to adulthood? We come to university seeking, searching, learning, ...growing; our drive coming from our young idealistic 'we can conquer the world' point of view, only to lose it along the way.
When I came back last summer, I met a woman who had had a similar experience as me on a placement to Togo (if I remember correctly). We connected on so many different levels - cynicism on the role of the west and the church in Africa; the limitations and flaws in the implementation of development; the difference in pace of life; memories of street vendors, african music/dancing, nigerian movies, hanging out of minivans used for public transportation, the marriage proposals and the uniqueness of the people and their culture. She was one of the few people who understood the frustrations of questions like, "so how was Africa?" But I also remember thinking how different the two of us were. She had come back and was now working a regular 9-5 job. I had naively told myself I wouldnt be like that, and that I was going to make a difference. I had clear ideas of how I was going to implement all that I had expereinced and make that conscious choice to have a positive impact. Yet here I am one year later, not having helped make a difference or having made any clear distinct steps towards that goal for change that I had set for myself.
Actually, I shouldnt be so hard on myself, I cant say that I havent changed or grown at all since last year. To say the least, I've definitely gained a different perpective on life, as I believe all our experiences help us gain. But I'm reminded that I havent achieved all that I set out to accomplish yet. And I cannot afford to forget that, because I truly believe that 'our lives end the moment we think there is nothing left to change'
